Flippy tales
by oboeplum
Summary: A very silly crossover about a penguin who sorts out tv series.
1. Flippy vs arthur

**This was originally posted by Gingerwolf96, but written by me so I'm putting it up here. It's a really silly crossover, the first chapter of which was written in about five minutes as a joke.**

Arthur watched in awe as the stout creature waddled towards him. Wha… What is it?" he asked merlin, who sighed.

"It's called a penguin. It's a type of bird" he replied. The penguin looked like no bird Arthur had ever seen. He reached out to touch it, but the penguin snapped at his fingers. Merlin rushed over to check his friend was okay, trying to hide his giggles. "it's okay!" he reassured Arthur. "You're not bleeding-or dying" he added as an afterthought, giving a lopsided grin and walking back towards the penguin. "good flippy" he praised, patting the bird on the head and throwing it a small piece of fish. Flippy chirped happily, an evil smirk crossing his beak.


	2. The new cardinal

**Chapter two moved over from Gingerwolf96's account. **

The four musketeers galloped across the French countryside. Suddenly their horses came to a stop in front of a small penguin that was inexplicably waddling across the path. Aramis was the first to dismount and approach the bird, muttering "¿Qué carajo?"

"What the hell is that thing doing here?" Athos asked. The penguin confidently waddled towards Aramis. It seemed to gesture towards Porthos and make a hugging movement with its flippers.

"I have no idea what it's saying, but I think it likes me" Aramis announced. "Hey, would you like to come back with us?" he asked the penguin, which chirped happily.

The next morning the penguin waddled nonchalantly through the Musketeer's Garrison, blood dripping down its white chest.

"ARAMIS!" Yelled the captain. Aramis and co quickly scuttled over.

"Yes sir?"

"Cardinal Rochefort was found dead this morning with his throat pecked out." Said the captain, angrily. "Do you have any idea how it happened? Or perhaps you could explain how your new 'friend' got covered in blood?"

"Perhaps it... ate a small animal?" said Aramis.

"Like a rat" added d'Artagnan.

"Or a mouse" added Athos.

"Or a rabbit" added Porthos.

The captain sighed. "Anyway, France needs a new cardinal and if we don't find someone to replace him the king will rope me into doing it." It was at this point that the penguin waddled into the conversation and vomited up its last meal (which looked suspiciously not like a small animal) and looked expectantly up at the musketeers. Porthos glanced at Aramis.

"Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" Porthos said.

"Always" replied Aramis...

A week later, in the king's court, Athos looked at the penguin that had become France's new cardinal. "I've got a bad feeling about this," he muttered.

**¿Qué carajo? directly translates to wtf. I don't speak any spanish, so I had to use google translate :/**


	3. Strange happenings in time and space

**Probably set sometime after ****_Tomb of the Cybermen_**

Over the hum of the TARDIS console, the second doctor didn't notice the penguin waddling through the control room. He did, however, notice his companion Jamie's loud shriek as the penguin waddled into his room and started attacking him a few minutes later. The doctor ran to Jamie's room and found the scotsman standing on his bed with his shirt torn off, looking fearfully down at the penguin. "Oh my giddy aunt..." said the time lord, looking from Jamie to the strangely happy bird.

It was at this point that the doctor's other companion, Victoria, looked through the open doorway. She recognised the situation from some stories she'd recently got into. What were they called again? Slash fics, that was their name. It was a typical slashfic moment-the doctor had accidentally walked in on Jamie undressing, and lots of kissing would quickly follow. For some reason she couldn't understand, Victoria found that prospect strangely exciting.

Flippy travelled with the trio for a short while, but strangely disappeared when they were visiting 17th century France...


	4. The birth of flippy

**I thought I should write some backstory for flippy, and explain his motives. Yeah...**

On a boring day in a boring month of a boring year, in a boring colony of penguins on the Falkland Islands, a mother and father looked down at their egg. A tiny beak pecked its way through the shell and was followed by a tiny fluffy bird. Then the adorable newborn chick murdered its parents.

Flippy's bloodthirst continued as he grew up, and he spent his childhood tricking explorers in to stepping on unexloded land mines and chasing them off cliffs.

One day, when flippy was munching on an explorer's liver, he had a sudden realisation. He decided that his destiny was to murder annoying bad guys and get tv characters to hook up. He hitchhiked his way across time and space, leaving a trail of blood and shipping in his wake.

Flippy never forgot his true love, a female penguin from the colony. As soon as he was nearby, he came back to the colony to court her. Unfortunately she had been shot by an explorer so Flippy got over her and went off to turn Hamlet into an orgy.

**Look, he's a murderous time travelling storyhopping penguin. What the hell did you expect? A normal plot?**


End file.
